It hasn't been long, has it?

How many days have passed?
To be honest, I'm not sure. I gotta open up the calendar and take a look.
24th day today..

How have we been doing?
Days still go by, tasks still need to be done.
Many mostly have kids, which will somehow take off our minds from sadness to madness..

But sure there will be times when we are alone, times when related news appears and trigger our memories.
Then, sadness is back visiting again.
Guess it's more apparent nowadays as coming weekend is our first ancestors worship day.
On and off there's short chat about the event for that day. Though it's just normal chat, but can feel the lingering sadness.

And think of it, there's actually not much things done since then. Everyone just resume back their original live schedule. Just that there's now an empty slot in everyone's list.

The faraway no longer has the luxury of someone waiting for arrival. The nearby no longer has the routine call to make. The others no longer has the excuse to drop by.
The habits that we were all so used to, has now broken.

Guess all the scheduled prayers are not a bad idea after all. Though it'll take up some time for preparation, but it just somehow transform the same slot, into something else, and not leaving it totally empty. Guess it's true that prayers are more of like meant for the living, to let us know how to carry on.

Looking forward for this weekend.
It hasn't been long, has it?

Gracias Padre

A week has passed by. And it actually seems so fast.
As the days were passing by, there are actually words that I wished to tell you but I simply can't say it out, words that I wished to pen down so that it etched in the memory but it actually took me so long to do it.

Thank you.
Thank you for letting us to celebrate your last Chinese New Year with you.
Thank you for holding on and waited for all of us to send you off.
Thank you for not suffering at your very last heartbeat.

Sorry.
Sorry for lying and raising my voice so that you'll have food to eat.
Sorry for leaving you so that you won't be alone unguarded.
Sorry for not visiting earlier so that you won't feel being abandon.

I'm thankful I made the right decision to come back, so that I'm there for you when you need me, all these years.
Thank you for letting me to hold your hands through all these.
Yet, I still wished I could do more, though I know I'm limited with my other responsibilities.

Don't worry that you'll be forgotten after the 100 days. Cause you'll be forever in our memory. We'll keep all the happy memories and will continue to recall them from time to time.
I'll definitely miss you but I'm glad that you do not need to suffer anymore, no more pain, no more fear.
And may God bring you to a much better place. And may you be in peace.

Life is a cycle which when begins, will definitely ends.

Hospital

It's airy here.. Sun shining through the windows. Pink reddish curtains tied neatly at the windows. Pastel orange curtains hang between the beds moving as the wind blows. The soft sound of chit chatting at the background. Then the sound of prayers.

He's currently sleeping. Tired? Maybe. Sedated? Maybe.
He's really looking way much better than last week. Shaved head and moustache. Clean nails, hands and feet. He must have not known he's actually so clean, compared to the previous him. Uncombed and messy hair, haggard and dirty look. God knows how long he hasn't bath at that time. Maybe he'll actually be surprised if there's a photo comparing the two looks.

Looking around, I wonder what's the story of the people around here. Waiting to recover? Waiting to have operation or therapy? Or waiting to die?

He seems to be here waiting to die. Doctor said there are nothing much they can do. And it's actually too late to take any preventive steps. What should he do? What else can we do for him? Hope that he's not in pain, not suffering. Hope all the close ones can reach in time to see him.
But he looks alright to me. Just only that he's sleeping all the time. Tossing his head left and right, as if trying to get a nice sleeping position on the pillow. Or is he dreaming?

Ambulance siren can be heard now and then.
Ahh, finally some footsteps sounds. Kids running by. More audible chit chatting sounds.
Visiting hours.

What's next? I don't know, maybe I just don't want to know. I feared what's to happen - be it good one or bad one.
May God point us to the right direction, and continue to give us strength to carry on.

God bless.