friends are chosen family

Friends are chosen family - not my own quote, but I just grab it from one of the Chinese dramas I've seen. And I truly agree with it. There's a saying, birds of a feather flock together. And these two quotes are just so matching.

We usually just hang out with people of same interest or same thinking or even same goal. And those will finally become close circle of friends after enduring through the time trials. Within these close friends, there will be a few that we've considered them just like family.

But family, real family, is the one we don't get to choose. However, this family is the one that we can grow up with, learn together and to become better together. Sticking through good and bad, that's family. Since we can't choose, then we make each other a better person. 

Though there're exceptional cases, but in general, that's what a family should do. Hold on to each other, encourage each other, don't give up on each other. Reprimand if it's wrong, don't  indulge if not right.

Hoping for a better generation.

life-cycle

Is life merely a cycle, or is it something that we can breakthrough it. If it's a cycle, is it something predetermined? But believing it to be predetermined, would make us feel like to surrender - it makes us feel powerless, it makes us feel useless to be striving so hard everyday to become better, and it makes everything seems worthless.

So, what is this cycle about? It started when we are born, when we "join" in the world, and the only option to "leave" the cycle, is after our death. There's no guideline about it.

Life is so much simpler in olden days, less worry, less comparison, less knowledge, less stress. And with the world getting "bigger" now, not that it physically get bigger, just that with the accessibilities that we have now, we literally connected with the whole wide world, we get too much information whether we need to them or not. 

Is that the reason to make us lost focus on what we really need to do with our own life? We are all so lost in others' lives, that we spend more time tracking on others, rather than our own. We try following what others are doing, thinking it would make our lives different, too. 

If life is a cycle, would all cycles be the same, or is it an individual cycle after all? And is it the same cycle that we need to complete by ourselves? It's irony, when everyone seems to be "learning" from everyone, which now seems to make each individual cycle to  become one big cycle.

It seems to be a big question. Let's ponder for a moment.

change

Had a week long with people across different countries. Started with a vague idea and stress of how the week going to end, but ended with a light heart and some light towards end of the tunnel.

A week where we had to show our weaknesses yet protect our standpoint. A week of alignment and establishing a line that works for all. Not easy, yet not really hard, if all trashed out well.

Everyone may learned something different, but hope we all learnt that difference doesn't means indifferent. 

So, what have I learnt? 

I learnt that we don't have to be afraid of changes. It's not easy to change as we have been in comfort zone, or maybe we have been in delusion, for a long time. But without change, we definitely won't be aware of what we might gain (or lose). 

Human relationship is a complex thing. Comparing to talking on the blank screen with someone vs talking face to face and watching each other expression, is really different. Human touch. Work somehow move faster, surprisingly.

Let's hope that there'll be continuous improvements, where everyone's live will get easier after this.

management

Management - to manage or to be managed..

Recently I was shared on a video explaining why some people need to work for others while some don't have to. It's an interesting video and I have to say I can't agree more. Though I'd loved to be in the group that don't have to work for others, yet I understand I don't belong there. 

When we are working for others, our time is being managed. Which time is for which task, and our day and night are filled up with reasons for that. Though most of us would be fantasizing, how fun would it be, should our time not to be tied up. But, is it really so? 

If thinking further, for those that do not need to work for others, how do they really spend their time? You may find two contrast - either it's well spent, or it's well wasted. Those that can truly manage themselves, actually manage the time, and not to let the time to manage them. They are the manager of their own time.

So, which group do you belong to?

if you don't like your time to be managed, then learn to manage it. If you don't like to work for others, then learn to have others work for you. Either one, it's still a management skill. And it's truly a skill worth learning of.

vintage

You are not old, you are vintage, and that makes you priceless.

Came across this phrase while reading through one of my favorite FB pages today. And it sounds so true, that I want to shoutout to my parent and siblings, too!

Don't one wonders, what are we doing here on earth? And the fact that I've been lecturing my kid that we're on earth to learn, else we're better off lying dead, makes me wondered if I'm still learning. Fancy of me telling this to a kid, but luckily, at least I'm pretty sure I'm still at the learning phase of parenthood. But apart from that, hard to say.

Maybe age does matter. When you are old enough to be lecturing someone younger, you don't really care so much on how you blabber, so long you manage to pass down the information that you want to. You are just hoping that the younger generation will be a better version than yourself. But as you get older, patience wears thinner, too. So, lecturing method changes over time, too.

Apart from aging pricelessly, may we all aged with grace, too!

3am stories

I've been reading posts on FB - about the 3am stories. It's really interesting on how the writer trying to remind us on the important things we might deem insignificant or missed out noticing, and they are mostly on family relationships. Not only are the stories interesting, but the way the writer wrote, is captivating, too.

I've been wondering, how long has it been, since we all last wrote or read long stories - since our schooling years, maybe. 

With our ever growing technology and fast paced lifestyle, I think most have now grew accustomed to poster style graphics, animations, short videos, podcasts - things that need to have movements and/or sounds to capture our attention. 

How many of us still able to sit still looking at black wordings with white background? You?

Are you prepared?

Are you prepared?

Prepared for your next meal, prepared for your next day plan, prepared for your next month event, prepared for your 5 years roadmap, prepared for the day you'll be gone, etc. Anything that need to be prepared, anything at all - are you ready?

Or you feel that you are the type that always on the go. Ready or not, here I come. 

Or the other way round, just follow the flow, since prepared or not, the ending is always the same.

It is irony when we are prepared for the daily routine, yet unprepared when unexpected event that happened. Is it unexpected, or is it we simply have not thought about it. 

Or, we thought we are fully prepared, but things happened totally out of our preparation. Are we really prepared, or just thought we are prepared.

Anyway, it's always better to be prepared, but same time brace for the unexpected.

goodbye 2025, hello 2026

A belated goodbye to the year 2025 that had passed and belated hello to the new year of 2026.

Where has the time gone? 

Has it slipped by unknowingly,

or has it been well spent? 

No one knows, except you alone.

Missed my 2025 gratitude review. Hmm, actually I think I wrote lesser too, these few years. Lack of time, nay, I doubt so. Just that time had been divided away by more life options and tasks to do.

I had my first road trip being a driver myself. It's not that I don't drive, but I've never drive so far out. It's really an experience out there, the driving, the sceneries and the foods.

And 2025 has been a closure for the kids 2nd chapter in life, which also means a closure of a chapter in mine, too. 

Would like to honour the teachers that have been so encouraging and dedicated to their job.

We are akin to fleeting clouds, passing through your teaching years

But TEACHERS you are the dazzling STARS throughout our pre-school years

We have had endless of fond memories with you and now etched in our hearts

May all the teachers accept our heartfelt thank you, deep from our hearts

Signing off,

PG Tomato

N1 Potato

K1 Brocolli / K1 Cauliflower

K2 Lettuce / K2 Emerald

adios casa vieja

After so long, it's finalized now. 

There's a saying "there's no banquet that doesn't end", referring to all good things must come to an end.

I guess this happens and applies to all of us - we came to this earth without anything on our back, and we will also leave without anything when we go.

But having to live, means to have emotion. Emotion is not only for the people we have engaged with, but the things we have used or lived with, and also the environment that we grew up in. But as we lived, we grew. As we grew, we moved, we changed. We are never going to be at the same place, or in the same state as we were when we are born. And the attachment may feel different, as we aged. Kids can't take off their eyes from the soft toys they cuddled since they were young, but as they grew, the same attachment may shift to other things. As we grow old, our sentimental value changed. Priorities in life shifted. Things just don't seem to be the same anymore.

It may be sad, when we let go of the things we are so used to, but that's how life is. We have to learn to say goodbye and just move on. Nothing is everlasting, as, even memories will fade as time flew. But this shouldn't stop us from living this life with purpose and enjoy what life showers us.

Adios mi vieja casa. Adios mis vecinos y vecinas. Thank you for the 33 years. Unbelievable that we've actually spent a third of our lifetime there, and now it's time to say goodbye. I'm lucky that I'm able to send you off, though not in a manner that I expected it to be. Still, you will be forever as a part of our fond memories, as long as any one of us is still around. Adios.

relationship

Life is fragile, human relationship is fragile, but it is all these fragile things that bond us together, give us hope, keep us going on a little longer, a little farther.

From a nucleus family, to extended family, to friends, to acquaintances, everyday we lived, an unseen web will keep on weaving on its own, and keep on growing, though sometimes too big, or sometimes unexpectedly small. 

The web path that we crossed, sometimes just once, sometimes kind of frequent, or sometimes tangled up or messy. A path that we might be familiar with, or thought to be familiar with, or a path broken yet somehow mended back.

To the life that we will only lived once, let's us all treasure what we have, regardless whether in this live we have more or less, as the most important is to live with love. 

ten minutes

Just wondering, what can we do in 10 minutes time?

Ten minutes seem to be too short for a sleep, but good enough for a forty winks.

Ten minutes seem to be too short for a meal preparation, yet enough to whip out a breakfast.

Ten minutes seem to be too short for reading a novel but just nice for a short read.

Time indeed varies, depending on what we want to do, or what we need to do.

What will you be doing, if you only have 10 minutes to spare, before your next task?

the day your heart missed a skip

Have you ever had the moment, that your heart had missed a skip?

Most would recalled surprised moments that happened to them, for some would be unbelievable moments, while some may be horrifying moments.

Well, mine was, the day I was told my kid lied.

The day went out as usual, things got busy towards midday, when a call came through. In the call, the teacher told me that my kid lied, then summarized what had happened. My heart literally missed a skip, and sunken down as I hear the teacher explaining. 

I was still trying to hold onto some hope, hoping that there's still a grain of truth not being told, or a grievance yet to be unfolded. Yet, all hopes were gone, when I caught up with my kid.

What hurts the most, is that I realized the kid didn't trust me enough and had to resort lying to me. I can understand the fact that kids do lie, now and then. Well, who doesn't? Which kid is not afraid of punishments after being caught doing wrong things? I might have done that, too (hopefully I hadn't but age is catching up which I can't pinpoint mine now, if I ever had).

The kid felt betrayed, as all these while, if there's a mistake done, I forced the action of owning up, which will cause punishment. This really baffled me. 

So, end of the day, punishment was still being carried out. Even though the teacher had repetitively told me to talk it through nicely to the kid, but sorry to say that, this household imposed on punishment as well.

I've ended up spending hours later on, explaining to the kid, why punishment was needed, why we need to own up after doing mistake, what will happen if we had let it go easy on those mistakes. Honestly, I myself, don't really like corporal punishment as I've suffered them myself during my younger days. But on the other hand, I have to agree that this type of punishment is important, too, as we may not be eloquent enough to make our kids to fully understand and comprehend what we are trying to convey to them. 

Most kids are like goldfish. Why? They are having goldfish memory. Myth wise, goldfish tend to be labeled as having 3 seconds memory. Fact wise, goldfish actually remembers much longer, months instead of seconds. So, be it, myth or fact, both suit the kids.

no matter what

Recently, there's a big-screen movie and a neflix movie that seems to caught lots of parental attention of the hidden messages of the show.

People start posting their views and what key points that we should take away from the show. 

A parent(s) love and right guidance is very important to a child. 

Being presence to them means more than anything, unless we have been interpreting "presence" to them in the wrong way. 

Setting boundary for them doesn't mean stopping them for exploring, but to explore responsibly.

Home should be the safest place to be, but, we all should still stay vigilant of the world wide web.

Letting your child(ren) knows that you love them is important, and it is important also for them to know how to continue to live lovingly without you.

goodbye 2024, hello 2025

Goodbye 2024.. Counting down for the last one hour.

It's like a common ritual, that by end of the year, all should look back and summarize what had happened, be it good or bad. Then what to look for in the brand new year.

But I think I've stop doing so for the last few years. So, am I starting it back again? Nay, of course I'm not.

Looking back at this year.. Opps, ain't that duplicity. Anyway, let's just do what the Romans do. 

Looking back at this year, days do pass by fast as if they are flying, yet they don't pass by easily. It's a year of new learning, new adaption to new schedule and dealing with new people.

I'm hoping that the coming new year, my pace will slow down, and let me digest on how to plan for my retirement. All the hypes are moving my attention away from the ultimate retirement plan. I'm still looking for my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

May the brand new 2025, brings better days.

Welcome 2025!

writing

I love writing, I do, though I rarely do now.

I tend to think that writing is an art. Which is why I love reading, too. Especially, of skillful writers, as they can transport you into a whole different world, by just using words. Don't underestimate the shows and movies you are watching, as it's written by the scriptwriter, too!

Writing not only can convey messages, if beautifully written, it can also pass down emotions, too. Words are powerful, so long they are used in the right way.

7 years down the road, another 7 to go

So fast, yet not really so fast, 7 years have gone by. How did we make it so far? How did we manage to progress until now? I guess, that's what we call, the power of time. 

Did we plan for it? Did we manage it well? I guess, that will always be part of life cycle.

Let's just celebrate for now, as there will be another 7 years to come.

life . plan . read

What is life? Plan to live, live to plan. 

Plan to live the life you want. 

Though you may not be living the life you plan, but at least it may not be what you have not imagined it to be, unless you have not plan anything at all.

When come to planning, you should not be just planning on what might happened, but what might not happened should cross your mind, too. So, at least, you will not be giving yourself a surprise, or so you thought, by end of the day. 

What has reading to do with life? 

Read as though you live it.

How many lives do we have? How many lives can we lived? So, read. Read what people had gone through, though we have not live it through. As people life experiences are all unique and different, there might be something we can learn from it, be it something good or bad, something to ponder about.

change

Are you ready for a change?

Do you feel good when reminiscing about those good old days when met up with your old pals and acquaintances?

Somehow those bitter sweet memories, when came flooding back, make you feel real again. As if you have never left all those good old days.

Do you feel emptiness or unsatisfactory when you are describing your present to your peers?

As if whatever that is happening now, is not good enough, is far behind from you have imagined it should be? Somehow, you feel others are living a better life than you are, or you don't seem to be doing enough of what you always wanted.

Do you feel lost when looking forward to the future? And you can't really imagine how or what your life would be, should you leaving your current comfort zone or the current things that are clinging to you. You just know that you will end up retired from whatever you are doing now, but - what's next?

Life is a constant change - the only constant doesn't change. 

When we were young, our paths have been set for us - from us after being borned, until we graduated from school, stage by stage. After we get older, we were thrown to decisions making on what we want to do with our own lives. Some of us have a good grasp of how we want our lives to be and work for it, while some of us seem to just follow the flow whichever our life path take us to.

No matter if you are the one that change your life, or you are one that life changes you. Don't ever be afraid of change - for we are just living our life once. But, do just embrace good changes! 😉

last day's dawn

Woke up from a dream - a dream of being in a relay swimming competition event. The essence of the dream? I don't think it is about the familiar faces of old friends. I don't think it is about the event or sports itself. It somehow is about the lack of strength, the competitive feeling, the urge to push on till the end.

Waking up at the dawn of the last day - if there's dawn, as it's kind of rainy season here recently. It sort of makes me think back of this whole year. Maybe somehow, somewhere, I've lost the feeling of competitiveness - nay, I'm not a competitive person, but some times I do loved that adrenaline rush, for the right reason though. Having said so, maybe this is something that I should work on for the new year?

A common ritual for the last day of the year - what are you being grateful or thankful of, what are the mistakes that you have learnt from, and what are the new resolutions you want to make. 

Let's think about it - there's still some time left before 2023 officially ended, and before we welcome a brand new year of 2024.

Happy New Year!

giving up

One tends to give up when things get tough. But there's a saying, "when the going gets tough, the tough gets going". 

Often, we'll try to give up even before we started. This is often when we see how tough others have worked on it, or how we have imagined that we aren't capable of doing the similar thing.

Sometimes, we give up when we are just halfway through. This is when part of us have tried doing it and yet the result is not per expected, or we simply don't have the endurance to go further.

Rarely, we push ourselves to the limit, to accomplish what we set out to do. This is why there ain't many cream of the crop.

If you could just persist a little longer, if you could just put your hesitation aside, if you could just trust - would you give it all?