Resolution

Year end is here again.
It is time to fasten up the pace to catch whatever remaining things not done. It is also the time to review back what has been accomplished so far. Also, the time to make better resolution for the coming brand new year.

I have also starting to think of what I want, though it seems to have lots of aspect to think of. But something I kinda resolve to start doing now is, to do things seriously. Well, not that I am sloppy in things I do, but sometimes when things started as a molehill and has become a mountain, that is when things started to go wrong.

It is not an easy resolution, for me, at least. How far can I go, I am not sure. But I will try to go as far as possible as my will can take me to.

What about you?
Time to reflect upon ourselves, though there is still time, but time always pass by unnoticed. So it is no harm to start off early.

four categories

I had recently read a book, which break us into four categories of people.

One who does not question and accept current situation as it is.
One who just believe in own goal and routine, and live as per their aim.
One who actively question the surrounding and try to get the answer relentlessly.
One who is able to see the big picture and is out from the rat race.

I am wondering which group of people I belong to, which I know, is definately not the last two categories. Although I dreamt of being in the last category, but I think I do not make the cut.

Is it a skill that is self-born or is it a skill that is sharpen on through out vicious learning cycle?

Fast lane or slow lane?

Life is like driving on the road, whether you are driving on the fast lane or slow lane.
If you are those that love fast and furious, then you will enjoy the speed and race on the lane, and will feel impatient at those slowing you down on the fast lane, and feel torturing if need to be on the slow lane.
If you are those that enjoy slow pace lane, you will feel that those speeding away are missing out the bits and pieces in life, and will feel pressurize if need to switch to the fast lane.
There are also many in-between ones, which cannot figure out whether they like fast lane or slow lane, and instead have the circumstances to judge whether which lane they should be on.
Which one are you?

Reminder

"Empty your mind. Focus on your goal. Do it."
A phrase off a drama that I am watching now.
A nice reminder when the mind is all clouded up and you just simply cannot figure out the next step.
Why not give it a try?

charisma

I am always envy of those people who are straight forward in revealing their inner thoughts or feelings. Though it is important of how they convey the thoughts to others as well, as, if not done well, may put strain on relationship. And they are not afraid of what others may think of them, and they can be true to themselves.
I guess this is also why I am always attracted to dramas which usually do not miss out in having such characters in their scripts. Their charisma always stand out.

Well, I do see that there are such people around. Some whom I may mix around well, while some may not. I am rather proud of those friends of mine, though. At times, I would think why can't I be like them, but I guess it is not something we can be trained of, but rather be born of. Hmm, guess that is what makes everyone different.

expectation...

A friend of mine asked a question, "What would you do, if there is a guy that likes you, will prepare candlelight dinner for you and also give you surprises?"
I answered flatly, "I will be glued to the TV". Reason? "Because this kind of guy only exists inside the TV".

Reality vs fantasy. If you are living in reality, you will realised that fanstasy does not exists in real life but only in drama. And if you are the kind that lives in fantasy, then you will really hate reality.
So, which type of person are you? Living in reality or fantasy?

For a guy or girl to be always on your beck and call, to be able to empathize with you, to give you surprises that pleased you, to be the most gentleman or most charming woman, to be able to do the right thing at the right time, sounds just almost impossible. In drama, maybe.

I used to think of having a wonderful, perfect partner. But after been in relationship for so long (and watching so many dramas), I realised that we are actually not looking for a perfect partner, but for the little things or gestures that he or she did that makes things seems perfect and wonderful. There is no use copying the drama leads, as, if those are reflect in real life, seems a bit fake. But instead, be true in what you want to do for your partner and you will still able to enjoy the perfect moment or relationship that you dreamt for.

Ever ready ...

Sometimes life is just too short for us to pause and consider what we plan to do next.
So, it is important to be ever ready to face whatever challenges that may come.

Ones lifespan is kinda unpredictable.
During day time you may still be feeling well, and with an expected twist of event, by night time you have already departed, leaving your loved ones behind.
Or you having to live past hundred years and yet wondering why you are still around, when things you want or can do become limited for each passing day.

So, be ever ready, whether you are living for the moment or for the century. It is not hard trying to imagine that, is that?

Looking at the sky...

Looking at the clear blue sky, everything seems to be good, not difficult, not important. As if life is actually just a simple thing.
Sometimes, it is really worthwhile to take the time, to have a break, to look at the sky. Every other things would seem to be just so insignificant, that it puts your heart at ease.

believe ...

To live life seriously and with aim is the best kind of life to live.
To live life to the fullest every day and not to slack around aimlessly.
To live a wonderful life is what we should do every day and every second.

Do not be afraid to keep trying.
Do not be afraid to fail and get hurt.
Do not be afraid is what we need to do every day and every second.

Strive to keep up with good attitude in life and you will feel that every day is worth being strived for.
Never give up with just slight setbacks, as those are just fleeting moments that will soon pass by.

Keep believing in your faith, as time will prove that with the right belief, things will turn out right, too.

emotional ...

Do you tend to be caught by your own emotions?
And it seems to happen unexpectedly, without any forewarning.

Everyone has their own emotional times. And when that time comes, everything seems to be unnatural, everything seems to be upside down, everything becomes a nuisance and everything seems should come to a halt.

It seems natural to get emotional at times, but definately not frequent. Getting emotional might due to stress, hormone changes and etc. But it is important to recognize it and to divert its attention. Getting emotional makes one not able to think or judge rationally. So, release the uneasiness first, cool down and relax, before taking the next step.

sometimes, it is better to take a step back.

feeling blessed ...

At this very moment, I am feeling very blessful.
A very rare moment with this kind of feeling.

Listening to music, doing things I like to do, not being stressed out by anything.
A moment of myself in my own world.

Feeling blessed that though there may be hurdles along the way, but things still turns out well or at least manageable.
Though this may be a fleeting moment, but I am grateful I am able to relish the moment.

Thank you.
Thank you for the moments, thank you for the memories.
Thank you for being there, thank you for existing.
A heartful of thank yous.

Blanket of rain...

It is raining real heavily now.
It felt safe to be sheltered from the rain from the painful rain drops and harsh rain, and even get to enjoy the droplets scenery from the window.
Rainy day can calm a person mood. Sheltered and with soothing music. Or so I think.
Pressure comes and goes. Most importantly is knowing how to handle it well. Making use of it as a motivation or releasing it without being mean or hurtful.
Not an easy task, I believe, but doable. Let's conquer the pressure!

People...

I am recently trying to get info on how to manage people, how to influence and motivate them.
And this makes me realized that it is truly hard to manage people, much less bout trying to motivate them.
There are some which teaches about being attentive to work, having to make your own day, choosing the right person to work then only manage them, or having a short term realistic goal to achieve, and etc.
Reading is one thing, implementing is another. No matter how much I am able to read, it still depends on how the implementation makes thing works.
Handling people is really not an easy job. But if everyone can manage he/herself, then wouldn't it makes things easier?

too busy for a friend ...

Stumble upon a forwarded mail from an ex-colleague.
Had rarely check out my personal mails nowadays, maybe because have grown out of forwarding emails, or sitting in front of the computer for hours tirelessly.
But this one is a nice one, which I am not sure if I had read it somewhere or not. Nevertheless, it is something refreshing that makes us think again what might had slipped through our mind during our "busy days".
I quote the story below..

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in
Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.
So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
 
Do ponder over the story.
Some may think it is just a fiction story and why be bothered by it. Nevertheless, be it a fiction or not, in our lives, we should treasure people around us. Be it through our gestures, words or thoughts, let them know that they are treasured and appreciated.

Repeating...

Do you believe that things will keep on repeating itself until you got it done right?
Not sure if I have been mentioning it before here. But it just pop out from my mind again, while having a walk here.
It is a nice peaceful place, brings back lots of memories while walking around.
Not easy to have such a nice spacious place like this nowadays.
Opps, kind of swaying off from the topic.
Short to say, we have to get things  done right, else, we have to keep doing it over and over again, until we get it right.

Proposal...

Heard something on the radio that suddenly triggered my mind on what kind of marriage proposal that my friends would like.
I believe that most of the girls would like to have a romantic proposal but everyone has different perception of romantic.
I had just envisioned three friends of mine, and what kind of proposal that they might like. And these are what I presume they might like.
Ms D is someone who love to be in the crowd yet is quite shy if being the limelight. Proposal that might suits her is proposal between two person, yet have the crowd emerging after she agrees.
Ms N is someone who don't mind to be in romantic limelight. Proposal that might suits her is having a group of known crowd and propose at the most unexpected moment.
Ms H is someone who likes to be romantic lead but without others knowing it is actually her. Proposal that might suits her is a broadcast proposal to public, with her knowing it is actually forward to her, yet oblivious by the public and then suddenly appears when she agrees.

Time.. Plan..

Sometimes isn't it irony, that you always seem to grumble that you have no time for all the things need to be done and yet when you have the time of your own, you seem to be lost of what you should do.
For this kind of situation, you are actually not that busy, just that you do not know how to arrange your time and priority that causes the so-call busyness. And if you have the time yet not wanting to do anything, that is laziness and procrastination.
Then, even if you have given the time of a lifetime, all these trivial matters would never seem to be able to complete, as you never plan to complete them in the very first place. So, the root cause of all is not the time nor other people, it is you, your ownself.
So, plan out first, then follow the plan. Even if plan do not work out accordingly, you can just tweak on the plan a bit, and off you continue again.
Fail to plan, is plan to fail.

Fresh...

This is the second time I heard a  fresh grad being lectured by a senior colleague. The first one, as guessed, had resigned, which make me wonder (and worry, of course) whether the second will give up half way as well.
It is already not easy to survive in this dog-eat-dog world, what's more in this tougher environment.
I must say, it is a miracle of her surviving till now, but maybe it is due to her status, which is still not a full-fledged employee yet.
Honestly to say, I really do have good impression on both of them, the first whom had left, and this current one. Both, fresh grad, with good attitude in work.
I do not fully comprehend what good attitude in work means, until these two arrived, as usually I faced with experienced juniors, and even they are fresh, they are more outspoken, unlike the two. But these two ladies, enlighten me that good attitude can be visible, no matter the one is with working experience or not, outspoken or not. Of course, till now, I am still unable to identify, one's attitude during the first meeting, but at least, I am starting to recognize it via daily work and response. And this makes me feel sad on why can't everyone just have good attitude in work. This could really save up a lot of unnecessary delay and mistake in work. And work can be completed faster and smoother.
Another thing I had always wanted is to give fresh grad a chance to be nurtured. True to say that a company is not a welfare organization, that spend its time and money teaching its worker. For a company, you are being hired in order to help the company to  accumulate its wealth. But one need to cultivate its worker, before the worker able to slug for you. But I guess it's a two-way relationship. Sometimes it is not the company unwilling to spend fortune on its worker, but it's the workers that like to job-hop a lot, wasting the company efforts.
So, when given a chance, grab on it. And always give your best, so neither you nor your company feel it's being short-changed. Good attitude in work is a must.

Take a step back

Sometimes, it is great to take a step back from your current footstep. Slow down or pause for a moment can makes thing different.
We might be able to even find an answer that we have been searching for without luck.
Take step back and look at the whole picture again. There might be something you might have missed out then.

Day 11

I was really stressed out..
Mentally stressed out..
I felt that I was being pulled at three different directions, where all three playing mental strategy games, which I played poorly at.

Only Love...

2 am and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough
If we learn to trust
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'll give my dreams just one more chance
To let this be our last goodbye
But only love can say
Try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I just play my part
Pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
That's something only love can do

Day 10 (1)

I knew I should not wallop in self pity but I just could not help it.
Just let me be for few more hours, I really need to be pitied, just few more hours, just let me be.

Day 10

It was hurtful, the heart seemed to have something crushing on it and breathing was getting difficult.
There were times when fights were often and times when fights were lesser. But sad to know that, it seemed that fights were getting more frequent. Was it because the longer time went by, the easier fights might occurred?

It was hurtful enough to hear the lecture, which I admit was due to my insistence. But I got flared up because of the excuse you gave me was something I knew you would not keep, based on your character. That was still alright, as I knew after reflecting later on, I would know it would be my fault.
However, hurtful was hearing you said you would not care at all how I handled my problem as long as it  would not involved you.
Hurtful was hearing you said you would not care what my opinion would be if you think that my opinion was not something you can accept, which you even admitted that you rarely would.
Hurtful was hearing you said indirectly that I was good-for-nothing as I was not on par with your level of thinking at all, and which you were not expecting anyway.

If I was to solve my problems alone, then I would need no one in my life at all. If one was to share only good times together and shunned away during bad times, why would I need him or her? But I know you would have answered, that depends on the level of urgency and importance.
If my opinion needed to be at the level of so-called intellectual and logical, then I guessed it would take me a few more lifetimes to enhance on it. Wasn't everyone's opinion was worth listening to even if you were not to agree on it, or was I the only naive one? But I know you would have answered, that depends on the depth of opinion as we need to look at the big picture.
If I was really good-for-nothing, why don't you just leave me alone, instead of keep on harping on it? Was I really that hopeless that you can totally just ignored my self-esteem and thought that I should be happily listening and accepting what you were saying, even though they might be right? But I know you would have answered, that was to make you changed into better person, to make you think in-depth, as you cared.

It was tiring, it truly was, to keep oneself always on check, with you as the checker and I as the one being checked on. Sometimes I wondered if we were arch enemies in our previous lifes, or maybe either of us owed the other life debt, that in this lifetime, we got to pay them off. Karma.

Day 7

It was the first time we celebrated our black and white anniversary. It was the second year, yet I could not recalled if we ever celebrated the first year.
Maybe because it was just a day where both of us put on our signatures agreeing to hold on to each other for the rest of our lives, and nothing significant to have us to remember such a day.
But this year, finally we celebrated it, and although it was nothing fancy or elaborate, but the  important thing was that we were still together fulfilling the promise we sworn.

dead or alive...

Have you ever heard someone who told you personally that he or she is dead? And even told you in such a firmed tone that as though you are asking question with an obvious answer.
What would you be thinking?

To me, at that moment, I have doubt of whether he is in clear state of mind. As it is not the first time he mention weird statements, simply out of the blue. So I tried to ask further to look for more clues. But the firm answer, gives me no further clue as my question is left  unanswered and I am given no chance to probe further.
However, I guess that he might receive quite a huge blow when he gotten the bad news on his report. Something that just triggered his mind wrongly, and just strike him that he is dead. But things seem to be back to normal within few hours later, which is lucky, else it would be hard to control the situation.

So, given you to be in such situation, how would you react? How would you access the scenario and what would you do? What might be steps to take and what to avoid if things get ugly.
All these are very subjective, depending on the time things are happening, whom you are with and etc. We can only make judgment of what we think if the best at that time.

Day 3

Where is the focus point?

You said that my focus point was wrong. And tried to use numerous examples to let me see why was it wrong. I understand that you were right, and things need to be changed and put it right again. It's impossible to juggle between three sides and hope to find a balance.

Sometimes, I really wondered how should I be thinking. I know nothing is perfect in the world, and things need to give and take, and things need to have priorities and urgencies level. And I know I'm still not good enough in handling all these.

Family

What do you all think family is all about?
A place where you can seek warmth and love?
A place to lean on and where the people still believe in you when you are down and out?

If so, then being in a family, we need to keep a lookout for each other. But that doesn't mean to totally rely on your family which makes one to lose their own individuality. And being a family means you outcast no one at all, no matter how different they are from you. Being a family means everyone need to give and take, and together you make an effort to make things work out.

Any unhappiness or misunderstanding that happens in a family, don't just wipe out with time. It takes the family to work things out together.

Day 2 (2)

Have your anger subside?

I wonder if this round your anger would have ever subside.
You used to let me off easily previously with a few tongue lashing. But things gotten worse to cold shoulder of few days. Then became worst when you started stating those hurtful statements.

I know you were having hard time coping with my busy schedule.
So am I. At all times, I wished I had a shoulder to lean on when I am  exhausted and burnt out yet found none, but simply remarks that I am not able to prioritize. I wished I had encouragements keeping me going or leading me the right way, yet what I had gotten were simply discouragement and snide remarks.

Am I too ambitious? Am I too over confident that I can handle everything by myself and end up having everything turned chaos?
Am I just the one whom is just hanging on?

I, too, had anger and resentments. But you just have ways to make it go away.
But for you, I know once your alert button is on, everything that went nearby will just bounced back. No one and nothing can subside your anger unless you were the one who were willing to let it go.

Day 2 (1)

I have reached. Have a nice day..

These were the usual greetings we exchanged when we reached our office. As we travel apart, it was nice to know that each other had arrived safely at work, and you knew sometimes work is toiling up for me, you would gave me some encouragement.
I wondered if these exchanges of words were better than the days we used to be on the road together to work. Travelling apart had gave us more private times and those calls and messages seemed sweeter.

Your words of encouragement gave me strength to proceed further as my days are always over burdened.
Sometimes I wondered when will you need me instead. You never need my encouragement as you always seemed to be so sure of yourself. And don't know since when I've stopped wanted to give you encouragement and cheering, as it was always seems unneeded.

Day 2

Morning..

Oh boy, it is so hard getting up in the morning. The bed seems especially inviting in the morning, but still have to drag my feet out from the bed and get the day started.
You used to drag me out from the bed whenever I still laze on the bed. Well, of course, there were times when you were the one who laze on the bed. But thinking back, wondered was I the one who lazed more?

We both liked to wake up early in the morning before sun rise. The earlier we woke up, the more things get to be done. But things seems to have changed.
There were more things on our list now and sleeping time getting late making waking up in the morning seems to be a core.
Sleep seems to be more precious, time seems to be shorter.

Regret (2)...

Someone mentioned to me today that he had regret an action (or maybe two) that he had taken about roughly 2 years ago.
Action that lead to his unhappiness today. Of course along the way, there were bits and pieces that added on and caused the regretful decision.
Do you feel the same, too?
Having things that you regret so much in life?

To feel regretful, that must have made someone really hate being in the current situation.
Then why not snap out of it?
What are the causes and what are the possible solutions and which is the best of them all?

Life ain't perfect and ain't predictable. If we had known what may comes, then of course we will have no regrets. But life is to take on the unpredictability, so, come what may, face it, deal with it and get over it.

Day 1

How are you doing today?

I wonder how long since I last asked you this. And wonder since when I have gotten used to being updated every now and then on your own well being.
Maybe you have a more outgoing personality and just simply like to share out what you are thinking, those people that like to influence others.
And I have also gotten used to listening to your talking ever since the "bus-stop" days.
Do you still remember the nights we spend together chatting (or maybe more to listening to your stories and answering your questions) under the bus stop.
Maybe it's the "opposite attracts" mode that was what gotten us closer from then on?
But I wonder why of all, would you have chat with me, when there were so many other interesting ones around. Some even who are better talker than me, whom would have better interaction with you.

Rewrite memory...

If given you a chance to rewrite your memory. How would it be like?

Most people would have lament how bad their lives have been, how unfortunate, how uninteresting, how dissatisfied..
It could be quite hard to rewrite  the whole history of your lifetime, but given a chance to erase your memory and rewrite again, how would you write it? And would you really live the way you rewrite it?

Last meal...

We have heard of last supper, but last meal..

For instance farewell party of a friend moving away to a faraway place, or a colleague resigning, or a family member migrating, or etc.
Just literally, the last meal with that someone you know and from then on, you'll either gradually lost touch or no longer keep in touch.
Normally, for planned farewell meal, it will be done with nice treats as a celebration of another new beginning.
Plenty of time to plan out on what to eat, whom to invite, where to go, what to wear.
However, what if it is an unplanned one?

Life is always so unpredictable. Today we might laughing together or quarreling together but the next day or even the next minute, everything might be changed forever.
No indication, no preparation.
Next thing you know, you can only relish the last meal you had together, the last drink, the last chat.

Life is always so unpredictable.
So you have to cherish every meal you had together, as you will never know when will the last meal be.

vacation...

Isn't it nice to have a long vacation?
What does it means to you, on having a vacation?

Having to escape from your unwanted work or chores?
Having to escape from your troubles and worries?
Having to escape from the reality life into your dream life?

Vacation is not suppose to be an escape or getaway. Rather, it should be a time for head clearing or soul searching.
Our mind should continuously thinking and reflecting on ourselves, instead of choosing temporary withdrawal from life.

Ponder about it.
Happy vacation!

Birthday...

Most of the people should be happy anticipating to celebrate their birthday, or maybe, anticipating on how others will celebrate their birthday for them.
How about you?

Are you the type that await others to plan a surprise for your birthday?
Or are you the type that want to plan your own surprise?
Or maybe you don't even like celebrating your own birthday?

I would think, that birthday is kinda personal thing. So, most important thing is you know that how you would like your birth day to be. Even though it's a day that will come by every year, but, after all, it's a different year which will only comes by once.
So, let's enjoy it in the way that you like it to be.

Happy birthday!!

not taking things lightly

I may not be a person that takes things too seriously, but I ain't a person who takes things lightly, too.
It may sounds the same to you, but it doesn't to me.
Self-denial? Nay, I don't think so.

Well, someone just told me to hang on for these few months.
I know he's basically trying to cheer for himself, or so I think.
Maybe in his point of view, he's cheering for us to hang on, but to me, it's more of a moral support for himself.

What is your reaction, if someone tells you that he/she might not lives long, maybe for just another few months time. Surprise? Indifference? Sad? Relieve?
Honestly, it is a mixture of all feelings to me. This is because, living and dying is a cycle that everyone needs to go through. There would definately be a moment of sadness because of the loss, but also a moment of relieve as the pain would no longer linger around.

Most of the times, I would not take those words seriously, for instance, if people are telling me that they can't or don't want to survive long. Not because I'm inhumane, but it's just that these are the negative vibes that appear once in a while and after a while it would go away.
All living things strive to live, because not all have the chance.
And if you are given an opportunity of a lifetime to live, how could you even given it up without trying hard.

Things may not always go the way we planned it, but that's what life is all about.
We live to learn what life really is, and not life that we conjour them up to be.