Day 10

It was hurtful, the heart seemed to have something crushing on it and breathing was getting difficult.
There were times when fights were often and times when fights were lesser. But sad to know that, it seemed that fights were getting more frequent. Was it because the longer time went by, the easier fights might occurred?

It was hurtful enough to hear the lecture, which I admit was due to my insistence. But I got flared up because of the excuse you gave me was something I knew you would not keep, based on your character. That was still alright, as I knew after reflecting later on, I would know it would be my fault.
However, hurtful was hearing you said you would not care at all how I handled my problem as long as it  would not involved you.
Hurtful was hearing you said you would not care what my opinion would be if you think that my opinion was not something you can accept, which you even admitted that you rarely would.
Hurtful was hearing you said indirectly that I was good-for-nothing as I was not on par with your level of thinking at all, and which you were not expecting anyway.

If I was to solve my problems alone, then I would need no one in my life at all. If one was to share only good times together and shunned away during bad times, why would I need him or her? But I know you would have answered, that depends on the level of urgency and importance.
If my opinion needed to be at the level of so-called intellectual and logical, then I guessed it would take me a few more lifetimes to enhance on it. Wasn't everyone's opinion was worth listening to even if you were not to agree on it, or was I the only naive one? But I know you would have answered, that depends on the depth of opinion as we need to look at the big picture.
If I was really good-for-nothing, why don't you just leave me alone, instead of keep on harping on it? Was I really that hopeless that you can totally just ignored my self-esteem and thought that I should be happily listening and accepting what you were saying, even though they might be right? But I know you would have answered, that was to make you changed into better person, to make you think in-depth, as you cared.

It was tiring, it truly was, to keep oneself always on check, with you as the checker and I as the one being checked on. Sometimes I wondered if we were arch enemies in our previous lifes, or maybe either of us owed the other life debt, that in this lifetime, we got to pay them off. Karma.