My first big step, one that I didn't know that will happen in such an impromptu way, and one that I had always been imaging when will it happen.
I envy and salute those mums that are able to bring their child(ren) out by themselves. Being brought up with strict house rules, and living in one now, I know that there are a lot of preparations and consequences to think of, before I can even bring my LO out, alone. So, slowly the interest and daring attitude subside. Feeling of laziness and worrisome took over.
However, today, as if the stars aligned themselves to give me a chance of lifetime. Well, why not jump on the wagon before it goes off? But of course, even with the chance given, extra care still need to be taken of. Choice of place is important, crowded place is avoided, familiar place is chosen, so that if anything happens, help will be around.
First step taken, in a caution way. Guess there will be more to come. So, looking forward for them, but, precautions still need to be taken at any one time.
Why seed of doubt can be planted so easily, while fire of confidence can be smothered as easily as well.
When we start doubting ourselves or doubt others, the doubt will only cause more severe problems and breakdown of relationships, as the seed keeps growing.
When our level of confidence goes down, everything seems to go awry and nothing seems to be the right thing to do, as the fire has been put off.
In life, don't let the seed of doubt be planted and be grown into a tree. Nor do you let your fire of confidence be smothered away but instead, kindle it and turn it into bonfire.
There's no one else, but you yourself that can do it. Stop the seed of doubt, keep the fire of confidence going.
It might not be easy. No, it won't be. Still, work on it. You can do it.
Why do we sometimes dread to go back home?
Won't you from time to time, feel that you just simply don't want to go home?
Because you feel that back home, you'll have to face the unpleasant memories and maybe people that make you pissed off.
You feel undervalued and keep being pinpoint at of the problems, that you just want to get away as far as possible.
And yet, there are also times that you would want to go home, as there are still those that you loved, at home, who are also waiting for you. Not waiting for you to do housework, not waiting to blame you on problems that arised, not waiting for you to make decisions or give answers. But simply just waiting for you, to be there for them. Just as simple as that.
When it's getting hard to decide between going home or not, why not take a deep breathe first. Let your emotions flow. Let go of your sadness and fear. Focus on love.
There's a quote recently saw in FB, as below
When God pushes you to the edge of difficulty
Trust Him fully
Because two things can happen
Either He'll catch you when you fall
Or He'll teach you how to fly
Is love something that's so hard to chase and keep?
Love has so many forms and we can't escape from love.
And how do we maintain love?
People always think that the first child you have, you may stumble now and then, as you have no experience being a parent. And when the second one comes by, everything will be easier and you will know what to do. Not to say if you have the third one and so forth.
But is it really true?
Maybe for some parents, the statement should be true. But not for me.
For me, every baby is unique, thus, may behave and react differently, and also has different needs. So, taking care of one, may not be the same as the other one. Then, how can it be easier if you have the second one or more?
The only difference is that, now you are more experienced, thus you will not be so easily be frightened of, if something unusual happens. You might be more composed, and able to think and act rationally. But, of course, you will still worry, whether the decision you made, is right or not.
I wondered, how do we usually react when we have negative comment thrown to us?
Usually, our first reaction will be either to defend ourselves, counter attack back or dismiss the comment. I'm sure nobody like being given negative comment on. One will surely be thinking why the other person think he/she is qualified to give negative comment to us, when he/she might not know what is the actual fact or hidden cause or what's actually happening.
But sometimes, do we really ponder upon the negative comment? Is it really merely just a snide remark or is it a constructive feedback? Sometimes we are so caught up in our own world, that we tend to ignore the comment that is hurled toward us. And yet, sometimes, the comment maybe is to remind us to improve our current situation and though it may sound sarcastic to us at that moment.
So, don't we need to digest first on the negative comment given? Whether they are just simply biased remarks or they are actually point for us to ponder and work on.
Not to say that it is easy to receive negative comment to us, but maybe we just need to brace up and analyse awhile.
How do we get things to be done faster? Now with two LO on the tow, there's no more slacking allowed. Well, want to start tackling on work stuff first, so that work stuff continues to remain to be done at working hours. But how to ensure that work stuff don't overflow the working hours?
Had come across an interesting article from Kaye Ramos, which states "When you learn to let go of things that do not work, you become the magnet of things that work". There are quite a lot of quotes she mentioned in her article as well.
Allow me to list down some points that attracts me.
"Go small to achieve more"
"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else; for everything you gain, you lose something else" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Success requires that you follow the 80/20 Principle, but you don't have to stop there. Go even smaller by finding the vital few of the vital few. Start with as large of a list as you want, but develop a mindset that you will whittle your way from there to the critical few and not stop until you end with the essential one." - Gary Keller
"If others are sleeping, that's when you wake up and learn the game. If others are whining, that's when you step up and train. If others are giving up, that's when you press on and stick to the game. Discipline will be your greatest partner toward success."
"Pain is part and parcel of the deal. It's not a question of whether you will hurt, or how much you will hurt; it's a question of what you will do, and how well you will do it while pain has a wanton way with you." - Daniel Brown
"You don't need to overwhelm yourself with many choices by being jack-of-all-trades. You will indeed master nothing."
"If you give up the clutter that impedes your growth, you will eventually see the person you can become."
Was wondering what's so nice about this drama. Had caught the first episode on TV but found it to be an average show, one that you don't find it pity to give a miss. Then on and off, had a glimpse of the show. And out of curiosity, read through the last two episodes.
Through wiki, found that it's actually quite a recent drama, just on air early this year. And this drama is actually well-liked as it shown the daily life struggle. Couldn't help shedding tears when read through the finale.
Here I shared the final message of the show, as recapped in dramabeans.
<Quote>
My life was filled by misfortune but there were happy moments too.
They say that life is nothing but a mere dream but I was still grateful for mine. The cold, brisk air at dawn, the sweet breeze right before flowers start to bloom, and the scent of sunset that fills the air at sundown. Every single day was dazzlingly beautiful.
Even if you’re struggling right now, everyone alive has the right to enjoy all this. Even if one ordinary day is followed by another ordinary day, life is still worth living. Don’t waste the present regretting the past and worrying about the future. Live this day beautifully with light in your eyes. You deserve it.
To all of you who were a mom, a sister, a daughter, and yourself.
<Unquote>
I like the part saying that, even if you are struggling in your life, you should enjoy it; even if life is ordinary, it is still worth living for.
Don't you agree?
Just watched an episode of China's reality show "Super Diva" a.k.a "ma ma mi a".
The stories from the mothers are all interesting. But one of the messages that linger on my mind is "love yourself first, then only you can love your other half".
I'm sure most of all, had come across with that statement now and then. But how many of us had truly lived that way. Sometimes, we tend to forget or just put it aside. We are prone to having others to love us first, before we love ourselves. The need and hunger to be loved, seems to be greater. But if everyone expect the same, then there will be no one loving others, nor there be anyone loving us, as all are waiting for love.
Love yourself.
Do things for yourself. Once you are loved, you'll realizes that you want to love others, too. If this goes in a cycle, then everyone will be loved. Isn't it?
Interesting word of the day - "Inertia".
It's not a new word, and we should have come across this word in our Physics study.
In Physics, Inertia means a property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is changed by an external force.
In common layman word, Inertia means a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged.
Questions.
Should we be the state of Inertia?
If we are in the state of Inertia, when and how are we going to get out of this state.
Do we, from time to time, get back into the state of Inertia?
It seems comfortable to be in the state of Inertia. You don't need to do anything extra, you don't need to worry about anything new, and everything remain the same as they are.
But at the same time, isn't it scary as well? Everyone and everything is moving along or changing from time to time, and you are the only one staying behind.
Then only you realize that there's gap between you and the others. When the gap is small, it seems not to be an issue at all, but when the gap gets bigger, you'll be wondering why others seem to be living in a different world and you can't seem understand or engage with them.
So, are you in the state of Inertia now?
Are you the kind of person that need others to give you a nudge, in order for you to accept something new, or to explore something new?
We are not living in the world of dinosaurs. And since mankind exists, mankind had not stop learning and exploring until now, where we are all connected with just a tap of finger.
So, even if we want to stay in the state of Inertia, we can't avoid not to know what's going on with the outside world. And since we are to know what's going on, we can't afford to stay in the state of Inertia forever. We cannot stop learning, and once learnt, we cannot stop practicing, and once practised, we are no longer the same.
Stack up your pillow high, and think about it. Do you really want to stay in the state of Inertia? Are you sure you can remain in the state of Inertia forever?
So fast that two years have passed by. And here we are again, to recount how the last nine months have gone by.
It's unbelievable, that all these while, struggling with the day to day tasks, constant on and off bickerings and dissatisfaction, and moments of almost breaking down, we are actually welcoming another LO into our lives.
Still I'm glad and grateful for it, on the arrival of this LO. Though, I guess, my moments of breaking down might be increasing from now on. Which I hope not (crossing my fingers).
Week 5-8, started to feel uncomfortable, which seems to be the right signal but still wished to wait until week 7 to get the official confirmation from gynae. Don't want to get hope high, then down again the very next day. And this round also had toothache again, jeez. Can't escape from the extraction this time.
Week 9-13, nausea feeling is here, well, seems to be normal like the previous one. But an unexpected vomiting happened after dinner, one day. Gosh, don't tell me I'm going to have vomiting throughout the semester. Luckily it doesn't last long and appetite is back again.
Week 14-18, can start to feel the bump getting firmer. Thirst for water gets more and more.
Week 19-22, work somehow get busier causing not much appetite to eat more, and it's more like eating just for the sake of meal not because of hunger. It's getting harder to fall back asleep when awoke at night. And it's the time when movements can be detected vaguely.
Week 23-26, sore back is back again. Gosh, unexpectedly pull the back muscle when kneeling down, but luckily pain went away within a week. Constipation issue is starting again.
Week 27-30, BB head already turn downwards. That's good. Seems to ready to meet the world, though stil counting down for another 10 weeks or lesser.
Week 31-35, BB movements seems to be digging inwards and low, which seems unusual. After checkup, only realised that BB head had turn upwards, breech position.
Week 36-39, had a fall on both knees while trying to carry DD, luckily not hurting the bump but poor DD got hurt instead. Had a very restless and tired night when BB suddenly had huge movements. What was amazing, is that BB had actually turn itself back downwards. Whew, no need to worry about ECV.
BB head already in pelvis area in end of week 39, so it's just a matter of days on when he's ready. Even had false contractions that cause false alarms, twice, which doesn't last long, too.
Week 40, finally BB is ready to meet us, even though he's overdue by 7 days based calc EDD and by 4 days if based on gynae EDD. Still it's a shorter wait at labour room this round, though the pain is no lesser.
How will I be in another 2 years time? I'm not sure. But this coming 2 years, hopefully, I'll survive better, and survive intentionally.
Till then.
Came across a timeline photo in FB, causing me to look back the transition of this friend.
One may think that I'm the way I'm born, and that's what I'll be till the day I died.
I may not have known the details of life of this friend, but I can see the transition of her life.
The important message that came across is that she's living her life fully. Of course there will be up and down in life, no doubt, but there she is still going strong.
She's not the only one, I noticed, but there are few more others individuals that I admired that they really lived their lives passionately, where they willing to change for their better selves.
How about you?
How do you see yourself and your life?
Are you making any effort to change yourself to be better and love your life?
Once you see the light, no doubt, you'll carry on to walk towards it, no matter how far it seems to be, as long as you believe in yourself, that you, too, deserved to live your life passionately.
For the last few months, had attended roundtable sessions for a table of five.
In those sessions, we listened to the famous John Maxwell short speech and did some roundtable discussions.
Below are the topics discussed.
Topics are split into 2 parts, which each part has 6 topics.
Part 1: Beyond success
Attitude: the world you see is coloured by your attitude
Personal growth: people who keep learning always have a future
Integrity: living with integrity leads to a life of wholeness
Priorities: clear priorities show you what to do and where to go
Work ethic: working hard brings inner satisfaction everyday
Relationships: the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life
Part 2: Intentional living
The lifestyle of successful people
You can make your life a great story
Putting your purpose into action
Everyday essentials for living a life
Start sharing your story to encourage others
Leading your own roundtable group
The aim of these sessions is to have us to think and guide us to live intentionally with purpose. And only through intentional living, you will truly live your life.
So, if you have been following up and reading the books of John Maxwell, you might have known all these.
As what the facilitator had told us, we might not want to be live the way John is living now, but instead may be content to the life we are having now. However, what was taught by John can be apply to our daily lives as well, to those people that we loved, around us.
What do you think?
Down...
Wonder when I'll start having depression...
Test come and go, come and go, and come and go again.
Won't anyone simply get crazy sitting for test over and over again, even though it's different yet the same test?
When will I need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist?
It's the annual mother's day again, today.
To all the children out there, it's a day of remembrance of your mother's sacrifices and kindness.
To all the mothers out there, it's a day of celebration and hopefully without the routine chores need to be done.
But I do believed that all mothers feel the same, as long as their child(dren) is safe and sound, healthy and happy, they already feel blissful and contented, whether this day is being celebrated or not.
This year's mother's day, the best gift I have are LO growing up healthy and well, as well as BB head had finally turned down in normal position (instead of breech) waiting for its turn to see the world.
I'm sure every mother has her own wishes, and may your wish comes true on this mother's day.
Happy Mother's Day!
What's the difference between OFI and Obs?
It's actually terms one used in audit. If both require an action and closure, then why do we need to segregate between the both? Isn't it clear cut if we had just used one term instead or two? And if one is different from the other, then shouldn't we have different approach for both?
It's totally mind boggling when one got an OFI but being questioned like having an Obs. Worst is if the auditor is acting like a judge just trying to close the case but not understanding the whole picture first. As if reasons given are not valid at all, and all reasons are leading to same conclusion.
Jeez, now I understand why sometimes people just simply hate auditors, and why some people just find auditors annoying and time wasting.
Gosh, it must not be easy to become an auditor a.k.a judge. But at the same time, not everyone is suitable to be an auditor. Auditor not only requires knowledge of ISO and internal organization procedures, but also soft skills as well.
I wonder, if they can get auditors with good soft skills next time. It should be one of their selection criterias, as well.
No point losing mind over the baseless argument. End of the day, it doesn't really matter. It's just for record purpose anyway.
But one is sure to fire up, when it gets involved personally.
God bless.
So far, I must said that this year's birthday is the worst of the lifetime.
Have you ever wondered, sometimes, that people are spending their time for you to celebrate your birthday, or you are the one that's spending your time for them?
I do wonder now.
When I'm younger, I used to think that people celebrate my birthday doing the things they like to do, instead of what I like to do. And now, after grown up, I still end up having the same thinking.
Birthday celebration is meaningless if the birthday girl or boy is unhappy. What's the point of celebrating, when the lead is not feeling joyous about it.
Make me feel that I would rather spend the day myself, sitting on the couch, drinking my favourite drink, enjoying the slow moments of the day, occasionally replying birthday wishes.
What would make your birthday, your worst nightmare, is that as if you are to suit others' schedule of their so-called "celebration" for you. If it's "my" day, then why the heck, you can't follow "my" schedule.
Now, seems like I'm the sinner that ruin my own birthday, just because the so-called schedule is off track, and I'm the one making everyone miserable.
Jeez, if so, then stop celebrating for me. I celebrate for myself. It's supposed to be my day anyway. Why should I be the one who's feeling sad and miserable because of you guys. You guys weren't even there when I'm born.
Today will be the last birthday we will be celebrating for you. Been ages since so many of us celebrated with you, which the last I think should be the one with the specially ordered "grandpa" cake.
Time passed so fast, almost one year now. Hope you had been resting in peace.
Frustrating!
Isn't it frustrating that everyone seems to know every thing better than you?
Isn't it frustrating that everyone says the way you are doing things are wrong?
Isn't it frustrating that everyone says you should follow their way of doing things?
Damn the frustration!
Damn everyone!
And it's just the beginning of the year. Dammit.
Happy new year 2019!
So fast, a year had gone by, and here we are stepping into another brand new year.
So many things have happened for the past year, but the most etching ones for me, would be the demise of dear one, and the arrival of another LO.
In one's whole life, how many things could we possibly remember, or want to remember. For those meaningless stuffs that stop by your life, just let them go. No point wasting the space of your memory for insignificant stuffs. Why not treasure those better memories.
May everyone have a blessed new year!
